Month 9 Recap: Energy

Month 9 has come and gone and I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster rushing down the slope and preparing for this abrupt stop that'll be here in just one month. I know I say this every single month, but this one's different - I can not believe this Fulbright year is about to be over. People always ask if I'm ready to leave and I fluctuate everyday on the answer. I think I'm ready to see my people for a week or so, and then come right back. I'm ready to be refilled a little by some things I've been missing like a nice long car drive, a Chickfila sweet tea, and a night with my friends. But I'm absolutely not ready to go back to my old life and the way I was before Fulbright. I'm not ready to live at home, spend my days feeling pretty stagnant, and wishing time would hurry up. My life here has had some of the largest hurdles I've ever faced, but I feel purposeful and stimulated literally every single day. That is what I'm going to miss and what I already crave for myself upon my return.

I chose the word Energy for Month 9 for a couple reasons: One being this metaphor of being on a roller coaster and feeling like I'm plunging downhill so fast. My time is running out so so fast and this momentum has so much energy I can feel it. Time is flying faster than it ever has and it's a bit unsettling if I'm being honest. I've also felt so much positive energy in the interactions with my students lately. It's weird because at the end of the school year the kids definitely are eager to get out, not focus on the lessons, and finish it out. That's so true at my school but that also brings a certain type of casual energy that I hadn't seen in a while. They've been more vocal with me, more honest maybe, and more fun sometimes haha. I've also felt SO much inspiring energy from the Fulbright organization and my peers this month which I'll for sure elaborate on, but it's been quite a time trying to rationalize just how I ended up here with these people for this year. This month has been so charged with various feelings and I'm grateful for them all: anxiety about the future, gratitude, excitement, and confusion.

Here are some of the many highlights from Month 9!

• This month was full of running :) haha I committed to a half-marathon a couple months ago and set a training schedule that I may or may not have completely disregarded. I definitely took some liberties this time around and probably hurt myself a little more than necessary in the process, but managed to get some long runs in on the weekends. The best part is that Tábor is so stunning and has the perfect trails right along the river that last for 11+ miles to keep me busy!

• This month Hunter and I were invited to a typical Czech lunch at one of my colleague's parent's house in a nearby village which is a staple experience to have when you live here for a year. They were so warm and welcoming despite not knowing a single word of English, constantly refilling my plate and assuring I was full and happy. Important to note it's rude to leave food on your plate so don't willingly accept refills when you know you won't finish :) Rookie mistake

• Our weekly volleyball club has finally moved outside! It's been so fun to get some physical activity in during the week that isn't too demanding and really fun haha. It's usually my time to practice some Czech and make everyone laugh a little with it.

• The 4th graders (seniors) at my school officially finished this month :( One of the first overwhelming feelings of sadness but I think I felt it much more than them haha. They were so ready to leave and move on, with only a few expressing the mixed emotions about finishing high school. I find Czech schools to have less of a community feel than any of my schools had, so I think it's just different here saying goodbye. They finished off the year with a "No Backpack Day", initiation for the rising seniors, and a mandatory face paint when you arrive! Now time to prepare for the long awaited Maturita exam which we've been practicing for all year :)

• Class picture time! Felt really lucky to be in the teacher photo but also the class of 4A and 2A who asked me to join this year! They were so sweet to include me and printed and signed a copy just for me too. They're such special groups that I'll miss so much

• I got to experience yet another classic Czech weekend with a colleague, her cousin, and their daughters. The cousin happens to work at another ETA's school so she came along as well and made for a great family outing. We went on a classic Czech walk for about 4 hours, ate Svickova for lunch, has some coffee and beer at the family garden, and went out for another walk later in the day. Can't get more Czech than that!

• Experienced an interesting Czech holiday that translates to Witch Burning Ceremony? Can't really comprehend what I saw but happy I went I think?

• Hugo, the blind and deaf dog that lives in the apartment below me, has finally made his return to the outside bench. I missed seeing him everyday when I leave and come home after work, so he really has brightened my mood this month :)

• Had really the best weekend trip to a fellow ETA's town of Litomysl. It was such a great weekend to catch up with a great group of ETAs, talk about our experiences and have so much fun for one of the last times together. They're really a special group of people that I admire so much, so they brought a lot of gratitude to my month!

• @Julie Russo being the best and sent me yet another handwritten letter to add to my wall!! She knows my love language so well <3

• Had my first bike trip of the season with 3 fellow teachers and felt alive again! Definitely not a biker and if it were any longer than it was I'd be in extreme pain, but it was nice to feel the wind and see part of Tábor that you really need a bike to get to haha.

• This month has been filled with many lessons preparing for American Day! Stay tuned next month for the result :)

• Has such a sweet bonfire at my colleague's home this month with some students of hers that graduated last year. I brought some typical American marshmallows and we just sat outside and talked for hours. We had some really great conversations and felt so nice to be outside roasting some sausages again

• Simple pleasure but pesto tomato mayo sandwiches are back in the weekly lineup. Can't beat almost-tomato season

• Two of my sweet sweet students invited me to their home for a traditional Phillipino meal! They moved from the Philippines 3 years ago, not speaking a word of Czech, and generally feel more comfortable speaking English so that's allowed us to get to know each other really well. I admire them so much for what they've had to do and so appreciate their invite to their home!

Last but not least, this month concluded with the very bittersweet Fulbright Farewell. Since the beginning of this year I started a long note on my computer of important Fulbright dates, and this month I checked off the last one :( I haven't really begun to process this year the way I know I will in the next coming weeks and months, but this was the first tangible moment where I realized that it's over. We had one last Friday in Prague all together, starting with a short reflection time which honestly I wish was longer. I'm so into the group discussion/therapy session haha and needed a little bit more than 1 hour, but still helpful. We opened a letter we wrote to ourselves at the very beginning of our time here and when I had it back in my hands it really felt like no time had passed since I was writing it. But I have to say I really surprised myself. My message to myself, or "ourself" as I wrote it, is that no matter how we did it, we made it to the finish line. I don't care how messy it was, WE did this and no one could physically do it for you. It made me tear up a little to feel how worried I was and how I desperately knew to reassure myself. Ten months later reading it I really do feel like a different person. I felt like I knew my worth a bit more, I had so many less shallow worries and fears, and stood there feeling like I grew and learned so much. More on this to come, I'm sure.

We concluded our weekend with a couple hours of an event at the U.S. Ambassador's residence in Prague. This was one of those moments where I kinda felt like I made it. Just a little. To get checked in at a gated community, being invited on behalf of the U.S. Government, and representing this select group of ETA's was an honor of a lifetime. The interim ambassador gave a short speech to us and our Czech mentors thanking us for our work and reminding us of the work we've done whether we realize it or not. I felt like I didn't belong there, but took note of that and really listened to their speeches and let it sink in a little more. My Papap always said that one of us would become an Ambassador before we even knew what that word meant, and there was a couple moments where I teared up that evening thinking about how he saw this for me 10+ years ago. I know my Nana and Papap are always proud of me and my sister no matter what we do, even if we were doing nothing, but this day felt a little different. I felt them right there with me.

The emotions kept flowing that weekend saying bye to some really special ETAs who, whether they know it or not, have made such an impact on me. I'm always inspired by these people and how each of them bring something I wish I had. They say you become a mix of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and I'd be one lucky girl if I could become that while I live here. A group of girls got especially close this last month and have taught me so much more than I think any group of friends ever has. They're insanely smart is so many ways, kind, compassionate, and supportive. They're those type of people you know will be in your life for a really really long time.

Last little moment of fun was a farewell party at a friends apartment in Prague for all us ETAs. Can't really describe the feelings I felt except by saying how grateful I am. I would never have found these people if it weren't for Fulbright. We're all so different in the best ways and I can't really imagine how different of a person I'd be if our lives didn't intersect. I think we all really became a family, or at least I felt so, and know I'd do just about anything for this group <3

Sooo what a month I'd say!! One more to go and then comes the really daunting part of processing this and reverse culture shock. Wish me luck!!